It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
How's work?
Spinning.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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