There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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