I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize