Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
