Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Randomize
