i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
