Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
