that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
