i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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