you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
