i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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