My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
