you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
