I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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