I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
