so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
