WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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