Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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