just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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