Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
