Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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