I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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