At least make sure they are 18
Why
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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