Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
