I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
