Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
what is it with giant penises always finding me
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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