Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
