I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
not ubering you a puppy
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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