i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Couch. On fire.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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