Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
