I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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