She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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