am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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