You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
either way he was missing a nipple.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
