the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
