Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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