Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize