I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize