How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
