i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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