i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize