is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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