You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
