And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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