never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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