You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
