We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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