Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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