After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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