Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
