there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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