Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She bit a glass in half.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
