I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
