I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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