Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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