dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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