she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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