Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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