In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
