all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
