After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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