your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
