1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
