i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
