when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize