Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
then he tried to convert me to islam
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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