I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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