Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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