Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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